“And so today, my world it smiles”
I can’t believe I haven’t even written about it yet. It’s been five days but I still feel its enchanting effects and I don’t think I’m the only one with that feeling. I’ve been seeing it everywhere, a lot of positive changes and a lot of upbeat people. I woke up this morning feeling exhausted, yet I was revved up all day long at work, like somebody took a pair of jumper cables and charged up my battery. I couldn’t stop smiling, laughing at silly things and just being happy. I had so much energy! Change is in the air and things are going to get better for us all. And the best part is that these effects will be present for quite a while.
I sat on a thin bed sheet on the chilly sand, listening to the crash of the waves. I had just decided it was a good idea to test out the water temperature with my feet and that did not go so well. Not two minutes on the beach and the bottoms of my jeans were soaked and sandy, my bare feet and ankles layered with fine sand. Leave it to me to be the only person trying to wade in the ocean in damp, fifty degree weather, in the dark. I didn’t care, I wasn’t ready to give up the summer. I never am. Sure, the air was a little cold, but not winter cold. No big deal.
It had already been on the rise for a while, so there it rested, high and mighty, in all its grandeur. The whole beach was illuminated by its magnificent white beams. I watched as a few planes flew in from above the mighty ocean and I wondered what it looked like from up there, seeing the light bouncing off the water like that. Glancing around, I could see the silhouettes of the other audience members. Most sat huddled together, some with their friends, some with their lovers. I must have been the only solo viewer on the whole beach. In the silvery night sky, a few stray stars could be seen, dotted here and there, so far removed from one another, in a lonely sort of way. But my, what a beautiful night.
There was only one thing missing. I held my phone in my hand and stared at it, thinking how easy it might be to set up a meeting. I rarely even get time at home to myself, let alone time to go out on my own. It would be so nice to just sit in silence and think. But I also wanted to make the most out of this experience, which I knew would be extraordinary. Just to have you seated in the sand next to me, talking about life, would be enough for me. I tossed the idea around in my head, thinking of the potential consequences, of how I would wind up feeling when it was time to go home. It all seemed like such a lovely idea, the perfect night, but in the end, I would see the flaws. In the end, I would want more, I would feel guilty and I would hurt. No matter how much I’d grown, it would still end up the same as last time and all the other times before that. It was just not time yet, and I knew that. All that mattered was that I was there.
As I sat with my thoughts, the lights slowly began to dim. I noticed that the brilliant halo was no longer there and instead, a dark sliver of shadow began to mask the great face, as if it was about to perform a magic trick. Another young couple passed in front of me, the guy trudging through the sand with his girl on his back, her arms over his shoulders and fastened at the hands. They made me smile, as I felt their love absorb into me. It was then that I truly realized how alone I wasn’t. In that moment, I felt connected to every stranger on that beach.
The darkness gradually took over and I eventually began to notice the red hue that I’d heard so much about. The excitement really began to set in. It set a very emotional tone, as I began to feel across the whole spectrum. From grief and sorrow for all the people I knew — and didn’t know — who were suffering, to joy and satisfaction in all the wonders of life, I felt it all. I thought about criticisms that have been made against me, from others and from myself. I took in their meaning and why they existed, and I owned them. They were mine and they were all true. I felt my eyes well up, as the pain came from deep within, making its way to the surface. Like photons of light in the sun, it was hidden in my core for what seemed like an eternity, then took its time rising up. Now it was finally about to be released. I acknowledged this pain for what it was, nothing more and nothing less. I let it sting me one more time, then I let it go.
Now the full face of the magician in the sky, the ruler of our shadows, was a smouldering red, a color I’d never seen it wear before. It was always a force to be reckoned with, and it now had us all at its mercy, hypnotized, as we stared. The sky around it was now completely dark and I saw more stars than ever before. I gazed into the Milky Way’s infinite, cosmic beauty and it dazzled me in a deeper way than I ever knew possible. Its enormous power completely enveloped me; swallowed me right up into it and I realized that I was that power.
I submitted to this divine force, let myself drift right off into it and I knew that you, too were suspended in it and watching with me, right by my side.